High Hopes For Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the big day! Our second round of In Vitro. This time we will not need to retrieve any eggs from my ovaries. We will be transferring a grade "A" egg and a grade "B" egg to my uterus. I am so relaxed! Last time, the night before the transfer was very painful from the retrieval so this is sooo much better!

It has been about three months since the first In Vitro procedure. I wanted to start the process over again right away, but I was told that my body needed to get back to normal. They implied that it would be July, then the end of May and then June. In case anyone goes through this, you have a period right after they tell you that you're not pregnant (after In VItro 1) and then you will have two more periods if they are regulating you with drugs. I was on birth control pills for a month so I would have a period.

At the end of the birth control pills, I started to take Lupron. When I first looked up Lupron, I read that it is used by guys who have prostate cancer. It is not FDA approved for fertility treatment (which may not matter anyway :) ). Don't worry I told myself. It has been used for this purpose for 20 years. That makes it ok right? I'll find out one day. Lupron is a GnRH-agonist. It suppresses my eggs from developing during this cycle through brain ovary communication. That way I won't have any new eggs/follicles developing while my body gets ready for the frozen ones. I DO NOT like this shot every morning. I have taken it 21 days. They tell me that sometimes it hurts and sometimes it doesn't. It DIDN't hurt once or twice. It stings and a third of the time, it feels like my leg is burning after the injection. It is so strange because it's given in an insulin syringe so the needle is short. I just don't know why it hurts? Oh yeah, Ty and I loved waking up at 6 o' clock on saturdays and sundays for a morning shot :)

I take Asprin every day to prevent me from blood clots. so far, so good.

I take Estradiol Valerate (represents Estrogen) injections on Tuesdays and Fridays (I will still take those if (after) I get pregnant). They build my lining in my uterus to prepare for the embryos. I begged to have a one inch needle shot instead of a one inch and a half. It worked! I cried before I received the shot in the bum again, because....I STILL hurt on my bum cheeks from the last In Vitro process. I may have permanent nerve damage? who knows :)? The good thing about it is that when I finally let my good reliable Tyler give me the shot, it didn't hurt! I think the area must still (permanently?) be numb and that could be the reason why...haha. I was super excited! Being optimistic is important right ? :) So I have felt it on the other cheek, but it feels way better than the Lupron shots.

The best news...I don't have to have the Progesterone (which maintains the uterine lining and support while I'm first pregnant) shots and suppositories like last time! I remembered that I was told that the reason patients are given this combination, is because if you aren't pregnant, the vaginal cream is very expensive (because insurance companies won't cover much of the cost). BUT...I still had tons of cream from the last procedure. I tried to ask the pharmacy people who at first told me they weren't the same, then admitted they were but the doctor wants me to buy the injection materials anyway. I told them I would ask the doctor who told me that the cream and the shots/suppository combo are the same. So no daily bum shots of progesterone! I will take the cream... for who knows how long?

I've had several ultrasounds to make sure my uterine lining is looking fantastic with a blood test each time. My procedure is tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. Once again, I will drink 24 oz of water an hour and a half before. The procedure will be uncomfortable for a couple seconds and then I will lay there for like 30 minutes. I will be on bed rest thursday, Friday and Saturday.

I don't think I've had any weird emotional times...well a couple cries at church (abnormal for me). Also, last Saturday. I am usually responsible, but I was trying to be less stressed so I forgot to check my flow sheet. Because I had tried to save money and buy only the drugs necessary, I put off buying some drugs and forgot to pick them up until last Saturday at 11:50 a.m. I was supposed to start taking an antibiotic and a corticosteroid that morning and the apothecary store that had filled my perscription was not open on Saturdays. So Ty found a store in Scottsdale (it had to be picked up at an Apothecary Store) and we called them and were told that we had 30 minutes until the store closed.

We jumped in the car, typed the address in the GPS and were supposed to get there in 19 minutes. The freeway happened to be closed for miles so we took the frontage road. I watched as the time on the GPS started going up. By the time we got back onto the freeway we were going to get there 4 minutes late...and then one exit later the freeway went to one lane. It took 10 minutes to go one exit. I called the scottsdale shop and was told that they wouldn't wait for me even though I would only be 15 minutes late. So we turned around. I called and had my doctor paged. I was soooo embarrassed. They operators couldn't understand me because of my blubbery crying.

When we were almost home, I received a phone call from the apothecary shop in scottsdale and the original girl who I talked to asked me if I was almost there. I told her that I had already called and was told I couldn't come. She told me that they still had a customer there and I could have made it. I was devastated. 10 minutes later someone else called me from the same shop and told me that I could meet him at a golf course he would be playing at and he would bring the meds. He was extremely nice! I was not looking forward to getting back in the car and driving the same route again. Luckily my doctor called me and told me I could wait to take the meds on Monday. I apologized (while crying) a ton for being so irresponsible! Tyler didn't want me to bother him and ask him to switch pharmacies, so he drove out to my work monday morning to give me my meds. He's the most supportive husband! I love him so much!

So there you have it. I am going to try and go workout one last time before the procedure. I am not allowed to exercise for a couple months I think. It was hard for a month. I couldn't imagine if I was a regular! There are other restrictions too. I KNOW it is worth it! I can't wait until I can look back and say "wow, if I only knew how great this child would be (or quads :) ) ... I would not have cared about any sacrifice during our trials." The scriptures that have helped me the last couple of months are Mosiah 25: 13-15. The Lord eased the burdens of the people with Alma so much that they couldn't feel them upon their backs even though they were in bondage. He did this so that they would stand as a witness afterward and know that He visits his people in their afflictions. There have been many, many days where I have felt no sadness of not being able to have a baby. I know this is because the Lord has lifted my burdens and has strengthened me. He has lifted me up through all of this. I really believe that we are given these tender mercies from our Heavenly Father so that we can bear testimony that he truly visits us in our afflictions. I have been visited in my afflictions and have been strengthened from these trials. The Savior has strengthened me so that I can bear up my burdens with ease just like he did with the people of Alma. I love how the people did "submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord". I want to be like them. I should be like them. I think I'm getting better at being cheerful in my trials. I feel I am more patient. I love this Gospel and how even though I have many many weaknesses, I can work on a couple at a time and keep growing closer to my Savior and someday I will live with him and my husband and my little ones forever. I know this to be true. Thanks again for all of the many, many prayers and fasts. It really helps. :)

Round 2

Yep, the first In Vitro process didn't turn out as we hoped, but luckily I'm healthy. I recovered from my pain within a week after my procedure except my injection sites. It's been over a month since my last shot in the bum and the area still mildly hurts on both cheeks! It is especially uncomfortable when I run. Hopefully it is temporary nerve damage and not permanent. :) So everything feels fine except those two areas. My stomach went back down. I thought it might stay bloated with fluids in my abdomen forever!

So the doctor told me that my pain and stomach would get worse if I became pregnant. I started to get better every day after the transfer so I was sure that it was going to be a no. I had to wait a couple weeks for the first blood test to measure my HCG levels. The sat. before my test I felt a little sad that I was feeling so much better so I thought to myself, "I am not going to have them tell me that it is a no. I want to find out myself first". So I took a dollar pregnancy test and it showed negative. I was really sad that day. I didn't want to tell tyler because I didn't want him to be sad as well so I tried to help him get prepared, but he ended up telling me I was being negative :) so I stopped that strategy.

I had my blood test and that day they called me, had me on speaker phone (because one of the girls that work there knows tyler well) and told me that our numbers were high (a 79 when they wanted around 80). They told me that they couldn't say the "p" word (pregnant) until my first ultrasound. We were sooo excited! I was so sure that the coordinator was lying. She reminded me of the announcer on The Amazing Race who tells you good news in a negative tone "I'm sorry Tyler and Ashley, but you have high levels!". I still kept getting better.

I was able to go pick up some cream that day so I could stop my shots. I was so excited to stop the shots that I didn't read the directions on when my next blood test would be. I thought my next visit was an ultrasound in a couple of weeks so I scheduled it. A week and a half later I had a message on my phone saying I missed my appointment for a blood test and that I would have to schedule my ultrasound a week after I planned IF my levels were high again. I came in the next day for the bloodtest and they ended up calling me in the middle of work the next day to tell me that my levels had dropped to 15, so I wasn't pregnant. :( They said it was probably a chemical pregnancy. The doctor later told me that with my high numbers at the begining, about 95% of patients stay pregnant for the second test so I was the lucky 5%. I had started to look at those pregnancy sites to see how far a long the baby(s) was so it was sad to let that hope go. Luckily they told me at work because I was forced not to cry.

So It didn't work the first time (which I hear happens a lot). Luckily there was one more egg that studied hard and turned into a grade A egg. We ended up freezing 4 eggs (one A egg and 3 B eggs). So wow, we are very blessed to have those four and not have to start all over again. Next time I will only have to get the transfer so I won't need all of the hyper-stimulation causing medication. It will be so much easier for my body and the procedure is really easy. :)

It really stinks to wait to get going again. I wish I could have just started it again the next week, but they want you to wait a couple cycles to let your body recover. So I have been on hormones again and it's a little different this time. The actual transfer won't be until the middle of June. SO FAR AWAY, URGH! is what I tell myself sometimes, but I know Heavenly Father wants it to happen at a certain time and I am willing to wait. I know it will be worth it! I have high hopes for the second try. Luckily we only have to pay for the meds (around $3,800) this time since we payed for two transfers originally.

Thanks again for everyone's prayers and fasting for us. It has given us a ton of strength. We wonder if I would have been in the hospital if I continued to be pregnant or maybe we wouldn't get the "Quads" we wanted-haha j/k. We would be super happy with twins or one baby. I know of so many girls who are trying to get pregnant. It is fun to hope for them and pray for them so I think less of my waiting. Happy Mother's day this Sunday everyone! Sheri Dew has this great short little book called "Aren't we all mothers?" I think so. :)

Our transfer of two grade A eggs!

Yesterday we went in for the egg transfer! The doctor brought us in a room and told us that we have two grade "A" eggs! He said he saw that there wasn't any A's the day before so he talked to the eggs and told them to start working on things. Tyler's family told me that these two eggs must have started studying more-:) Anyway, We feel so blessed! It is an answer to our prayers. He showed us pictures of our eggs and the A's look great! The rest of the eggs will divide two more days and then they will freeze any other good eggs for when we want to do a transfer again.

We then went into the procedure room where I took a Valium for the first time (they told me that although I may think the Valium is for me, it is for my uterus- :) ). Then we were able to watch on the ultrasound as they put this long skinny syringe up in my uterus and implant the eggs (it's kind of similar to an artificial insemination procedure). It was pretty amazing! Then I lied there for an hour with a full bladder to help my eggs attach. Luckily the coordinator had me drink 24 fluid ounces so it wasn't that bad.

The doc told me that I will probably not feel better and might feel worse if I get pregnant (especially if it's with twins) :( I don't know why I've had so much more pain than most people, but it's so worth it and I actually do feel a little better this morning :) I was on bedrest yesterday and will be tomorrow and Saturday. We had a free hotel stay in mesa that we won a year ago...but i don't think we'll be going :)

I'm still at a higher risk of developing severe HOSS because of my symptoms and the amount of follicles (he said I already have it, but it's mild). I will be taking the six meds for a while still and I get the shot in the bum every day for 15 days total unless i get pregnant and then it will be a lot longer...urgh...

I felt good about going through with the procedure yesterday so I need to put my faith in my Heavenly Father. I know that it is only through the Lords grace, love and Atonement that I am able to progress in this life. I couldn't imagine doing this all by myself. He has truly, truly been with me every step of the way :) I feel so weak and ashamed that I have to depend on other people to help me out every day, but I have been comforted by God and am thankful that others have felt the spirit to serve me through meals, treats, flowers, phone calls/texts, blog messages and words of encouragement (especially Tyler-he has been sooooo wonderful and sweet :) ) I know Heavenly Father helps us all by the service of those people on earth and in Heaven. I was reading in Mosiah 3:19 where King Benjamin tells us to "put off the natural man... and become like a child, submissive,meek,humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord sees fit to inflict upon us, even as a child does submit to his father. " Sometimes it's hard to be willing to be patient and willing to submit to ALL things which the Lord sees fit to inflict upon us, but I have a testimony that these things are true and hope that I will be able to always follow these things and grow closer to my Savior so that I can have eternal life with my family :)

My next appointment (if everything goes ok) is in two weeks. They will see if everything is growing ok. Then a few weeks after that I will have my first ultrasound! :) This has been a hard, crazy journey, but hopefully are worthy and will be blessed and if we don't have a baby this time, we know it's not in Heavenly Father's plan for us and we will try again :)

19 embryos

Today is the big transfer day! I woke up today very very excited! I was in a little less pain today so that was a bonus. I went to work yesterday from 7-7 (with 40 minute lunch). The doctor said i'd be ok and gave me permission. I waddled the whole day, but at least I could sit down. Last night we went to a spring training game with fam. and friends, and I realized there that I probably shouldn't have worked all day because the pain started to kick in. It was definitely worth it to go to the game. I needed some fun! I felt like yesterday was worse than the day before, but today i feel a lot better.

The results came in yesterday:
19 embryos: 2 have 4 cells (one is grade B and one is grade C), 5 have 3 cells (four of them are grade B and one is grade C), 12 have 2 cells (11 are B and one is C).
So we didn't have any grade A embryos, but she said there is a possibility that could change today. So we'll see! I'm just so excited we had so many!

We are going into the doctor this morning for the transfer. I will be on a full bladder for an hour after the procedure while i lie in the operatory room. I know the Savior sacrificed everything for us, and what a small thing we're doing for a baby :) I am just so excited!

31 eggs!

We were so blessed yesterday to have had 31 eggs retrieved from over 40 follicles. My sister-in-law told me it's like Easter :) These are the best Easter Eggs ever. Yesterday, they put a needle up through my uterus, through the wall of my uterus, through my ovaries and through almost all of the follicles one by one and sucked out the fluid and eggs inside. Then they put them in a petrie dish and introduced them to good sperm (only the ones with the nice tuxedos ;) and now they are dividing into several cells in the lab. Pretty exciting! So that's the good news.

The bad news is that I had a very painful day yesterday. I think of myself as pretty tough with pain, but I don't think the Vicodin was working for me (except the upset stomach/nauseous part). The procedure went well. I went in to a room and met the anesthesiologist, (basically handed him a $425 check for the drugs), dressed in a gown with a hairnet, went into the surgery room, got an IV stick and was given propafol (sp?), versaid (sp?) and ?-cant remember the other common one and then woke up in another room. Then I got two shots in the behind and they sent me on my way.

I watched movies all day yesterday-i felt bad doing nothing productive, but had no desire to move. I had all sorts of pain down there in different areas and going to the bathroom was a 15 minute ordeal because it was so painful rolling over and getting up and every movement after that. I had an appetite, but wanted to throw everything up after I ate it. I guess I was in a bad position watching a movie and couldn't tell because the vicodin was helping that area, but afterward I couldn't even lift myself up without terrible pain and it really hurt every time I took a breath. I had excruciating pain every 5 minutes during the first half of the day that lasted one second. I would yell "ouch!" and then it would pass. The doctor's office told me that they would get back to me on why I as having that pain. I think Everything was just manipulated so much down there and everything is messed up and my ovaries are very big and pushing on everything. I don't think this kind of pain is usual for this procedure. I talked to this girl who has done IVF twice and she said the first time she didn't have very many follicles/eggs and didn't have any pain the day of the procedure, but they doubled the drug dose the second time and he had a lot more (still about 15 less than me) and she was in a lot of pain. So you must be in more pain with the more follicles that are retrieved. Tyler gave me a comfort blessing last night and I slept pretty well. It was funny, the night before the procedure I couldn't sleep because I kept waking up worried that I wouldn't do everything I was supposed to on my list and one of them was to not drink so I would wake up with saliva in my mouth and was stressed out about swallowing my own saliva because it's fluid. Of course this was only because I was half asleep, but it's funny to think back on the situation.

Today I feel much better. Not enough to go to work though. I had to call my manager last night and tell her to reschedule the same poor patients again. They rescheduled them from monday to tuesday and now again. I feel so bad! But i know I couldn't make it. My stomache and insides hurt a little and I'm still nauseous today even without the vicodin. The big shot isn't bad at all and they said because I am littler, i can use an inch needle instead of the 1 1/2 inch. yeah!

They want to do the transfer either thursday or saturday. They are seeing if the eggs will mature more and divide more before they select the best two to place inside of me. I am planning to work from 7-7 tomorrow...hopefully i'll be up for it. Then we are going to a spring training game with friends and family.

I was just called by the coordinator at the office to tell me good news! out of the 31 eggs, 28 were mature and 22 and possibly two more are fertilized!!!! How awesome is that?! That number is huge! :) I will be able to have all of my 13 kids with that number :) j/k I am so happy after such a hard day yesterday. It is definitely all worth it! I had such a good friend bring me dinner and dessert last night. She is the best! I know I just need to pray unceasingly to my Heavenly Father for strength, courage and faith to get through this time.

Stimulation Day 10

This is the needle I will be using in my backside starting tomorrow-ouch!


HCG solution to start me ovulating tomorrow


Ganerelix shot

A few things have happened in the last couple of days. And I feel like my insides are going to pop more than ever! The nurse practicioner told me she'd call me thurs. night to tell me how much follistim to take the next day and when to come in next. She didn't call so I had to bring my follistim pen to work with me Friday. I haven't told the staff at my work I'm trying so I had to be sneaky. I wrapped the pen up in paper towels next an orange and put it in two plastic sacks so it looked like my lunch. I quickly stuck it in the fridge hoping no one would notice (they sometimes like to explore what's in the fridge). My day was crazier than ever and I never had a break because I had patients side booked with a ton of work to be done. I started work at 7 and looked at my watch at 10:00 and just decided to get up and call the office. I made it look like I was going to the restroom. I had a message from the office, but it was about Tyler. So I hid in a corner and called them and an assistant told me to take the same amount and she'd see me tomorrow. I told her that we had an appointment on Sat. originally and that I was told to cancel it in case I was coming in Friday. She seemed surprised and told me to come in on Saturday. So I secretly grabbed the pen from the fridge and headed to the bathroom and quickly stabbed myself in the leg. You are supposed to wait a minute for the solution to warm and the alcohol to be gone, but I was in a hurry so that injection stung a bit. I am so glad I practiced on myself another day now :) Luckily no one noticed me in and out of the fridge. So Tyler coaches a boy who's mom works at the doctor's office and told her we weren't called back and she said she would make sure we were treated the best from now on and she would take care of us. (sorry so detailed, but just want all of this for when I print this experience :) )

On Sat. morning I had an ultrasound. My ovaries are the size of small grapefruits. The doctor didn't tell me how many follicles were on the left side (I think he didn't want to scare me), but he said it was a little over 20. The right side has a little more than last time. Unlike the worried Nurse practitioner, he makes everything feel like there is no problem. My follicles looked huge on the ultrasound! There are 24 large follicles now and the rest are small. the biggest was 19.7 mm. So he said we could wait, but it is a bigger risk of complications with so many follies. So he said we would do the retrieval on Monday instead of Tuesday. He then told me because he likes me so much, I get half the dose of HCG (which stimulates the ovaries to mature and ovulate with a huge LH surge). Tyler told me the doctor tries to humor me because he knows if he answers my questions seriously I will ask more. He teases me that I keep him on his feet every time I come in because I have so many questions.

I was worried about the nurse practitioner not calling me the other night, so I went on PubMed and read many papers on IVF and it made me feel a little better. However, no one talks about patients with around 40 follicles. Even though the amount makes me nervous, I am grateful I have many follicles to increase my chances of having lots of eggs .

I talked to the baseball mom who works at the doctors office and she told me that I probably will be in the hospital at the end of this week because of all of my follies (but maybe not :) ) When the needle pulls out fluid and the eggs in the follicles there is fluid left over that spills out and goes into my abdomen and if it's too much they call it ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome (OHSS). I think this happens like 5-6 days after retrieval. If it's too much, I'll be going into the hospital. So hopefully they will be able to get a lot of the fluid out of the follicles tomorrow :).

Good news today: no shots :)

Tomorrow: We will be there at 5:45 a.m. ready to go. I will get IV sedation and hopefully I will remember to tell the anesthesiologist about my last surgery. They gave me too much pain medication after the procedure and I continued to stop breathing every time I fell asleep for 3 hours in the hospital. I wasn't allowed to fall asleep until that night (which is very hard when taking narcotics!).

During church this young boy gave a talk and had a speech problem. I thought, he probably gets made fun of at school, but us adults don't care and I know he won't have the particular problem he has when he gets older. But it's probably a big deal to him right now. I'm sure that is how Heavenly Father sees all of us in our trials. He is omniscient. He wishes we could just be happy in our trials and knows they will pass (even if it's not in this life). I know it is so important to have faith and courage. When I get down, I just try to quote one of my favorite scriptures "Have not I commanded the? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."-Joshua 1:9

The size of oranges!

I'm not really getting used to the shots...I was hoping I would, but it doesn't really get better. But, I decided to give myself my follistim shot every day. I think it's because I'm enjoying the satisfaction of achieving something hard every day. It's a pretty awesome feeling :). Sometimes it's hard to push the stuff in my leg and tyler says it's hard because I'm not holding it like a dagger! (apparently that's how it's supposed to be done to him) I think he's secretly enjoying this...

I had another ultrasound today. This one is one everyone who goes through IVF gets. I saw the nurse practitioner who seemed a little more worried than the doctor did two days ago. I guess my endometrium looks good. She checked the right ovary first. She said my ovaries are the size of a good sized orange right now! that sounds huge! And my follicles are getting big. They are from 10-14mm (one was 14.7mm). This explains my bloated feeling I'm having the past two days :) The right side's amount increased from 15 to 17 follicles. Luckily, the left one stayed at 20 (becuase the doc said he didn't want it over 20). When I talk to people that have had IVF done, they talk about 18 or less follicles...and I'm at 37. hmmm... So the nurse practitioner decreased the dose to 100 IU today and they will possibly see me tomorrow for another ultrasound and on Saturday. I guess when the follicles are around 18mm, they retrieve the eggs.

The nurse practitioner told me that I can not run (good thing I hardly ever do) anymore or do anything bouncy. So only walking. I really wanted to try to get some workouts in before I get pregnant with quads so I was kind of bummed :)

The bloodwork lady gave me the best injection today so it was a good day. she also told me that the labor dispute was about non-union workers who helped build the scottsdale building where the doctor has another office. So all the workers are happy and present.

I had a blessing on Sunday and I am so grateful that the priesthood is on the earth today and I am able to have a worthy priesthood holder for a husband and father-in-law. They are great! I am comforted and know I will be ok. Although I am feeling blah and huge today, I am so excited about next week! It doesn't come fast enough. I was thinking about something that someone told us in church the other week. Picture everyone putting one of their hardest trials on a piece of paper and placing them all in a pile. Then everyone draw a piece of paper. Would you want to have someone elses trial(s) or yours? I know there are a lot of trials people have right now that I would not want and I'm grateful for the ones I have and for the opportunity to grow from them.

I loved a paragraph I read in a talk by Larry Richman. He said "One of the purposes of trials is to help us come to know Christ, understand His teachings in our minds, feel them in our hearts, and live them in our lives. Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles explains that God loves us perfectly and “would not require [us] to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for [our] personal benefit or for that of those [we] love.” 5 President Harold B. Lee (1899–1973) once remarked: “Sometimes when [we] are going through the most severe tests, [we] will be nearer to God than [we] have any idea.” 6 "Larry Richman, "Learning through Life’s Trials", Ensign, Mar. 2010, 27–31

I have felt closer to God in this trial and I know more about His love for all of Heavenly Father's children individually. I just hope that I can always endure to the end so I can have eternal happiness with my family.

I did it!

Stimulation Day 5:

Today I conquered one of my biggest fears! Giving myself an injection! I know it was a weak injection because it was with the injection pen, but it was huge for me. For four days Tyler has been injecting 200 IU of Follistim (follitropin beta injection) in my thigh. He has done awesome. Each day, the injection was a little different on the pain scale. One day we accidentally forgot to line up an arrow in the right place on the pen and so nothing came out when injected so i had to get two that day. I only bruised a little bit on one of the days. So Follistim is helping my follicles (which hold the eggs) grow.
Today I started receiving two injections per day. I held off on the follistim this morning and started on Ganirelix Acetate. (This next part is boring, but I'm putting it in for me to remember at a later date) It is an antagonist (or blocker) of GnRH (gonadotropin-releasing hormone). GnRH stimulates LH (Leutinizing hormone) and FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) and so Ganirelix Acetate will stop these hormones which will prevent me from ovulating too soon.

I did not like today's Ganirelix injection. The syringes are pre-measured, no pen, just a syringe with a needle. I think the needle is more thick or blunt or something because it hurt just a little more than the Follistim injection. Immediately afterward, the area stung and 3 inch diameter red circle developed around the injection site with a one inch lump in the middle. We didn't know what happened, but the doctor said these injection site reactions can happen more in the leg because there is more muscle than the fatty stomach (but there's no way I'm injecting in my stomach pooch so I'll just have to get used to the lump :) ).

I had an ultrasound today. They typically don't include this ultrasound, but I get an extra one because I'm at a higher risk for over stimulation of my ovaries (which can be life threatening). They drew my blood. Took a look around and found I have nice looking/sized follicles. They want between 10-20 follicles in each ovary and I have 20 on the left and 15 on the right, so they want those little guys to stop. So I am decreasing my Follistim dose to 150 IU today and then 125 IU tomorrow.

So my doctor said I could bring back my follistim pen and they could give me the injection since tyler is already at work. He called me a baby and said they have some babies who can't do the injection themselves (he was being sarcastic, it was all good humor). So I went home thinking, thinking, thinking. Do I call my mother-in-law and ask if she'll do it? or take the pen back to the office or do it myself? I was scared because there is only supposed to be 100 IU left in the carpule and I need 150 IU so I probably would have to do it twice, and what if I jumped? So after a while of me talking myself into it, I told myself that I needed to be brave and I really don't ever turn down a challenge that is reasonable so I was going to do it. It was scary, and I pinched my skin really hard so I would feel the pinch of my fat more than the needle and it worked! And I only neeeded one! And so now I am feeling pretty good about myself today :) I think I will have a frozen yogurt later to celebrate.

Thanks for all of the nice comments! I didn't think anyone would see this for a while, but I forgot how people have tabs on the most recent blog post. I only told a couple people I was blogging about this and most people I know here in AZ don't even know I have a blog. Thanks for everyone who fasted for us or have been praying for us! We have felt your prayers.

Stimulation Day 1

Today was Tylers first time giving a shot! He did so well! At first the fertility doctor told me that I would have to have two shots a day, one in the morning and one in the evening. I work until 7 pm on wednesdays so I thought I would have to give the shot to myself. So when he told me I started crying (this was all out in the hallway and I'm sure I scared a few people). I realized that giving a shot to myself is my biggest fear (I would rather have a spider dropped on my leg). I cried uncontrollably in the car for about an hour straight. I only stopped because I had to go to work. So I was so so soooo glad when the IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) coordinator told me that I could have both shots in the morning. That meant that all I had to do was beg tyler to give me the shots (which he hates anything to do with blood and needles). So I am soooo thankful to him for giving the injections to me.
I was going to watch him give the shot, but chickened out when he held the pen like a dagger so I turned away. He gave the best shot in my thigh! Better than the shot lady at the fertility clinic! It hurt a little. It was actually a little sore all day on the 2 inch area surrounding the injection site. It was not fun when i bumped the area on anything.

This is the chair where Tyler gave his first shot! (I know, i'm a nerd)


The length of the needle (1/2 inch length)


The pen which holds the needle


It's so awesome to have my own sharps container!


I put this picture in because you can still have a happy day after your husband gives you a shot. I went to the Arizona dental convention today and had a really fun lunch with my two hygienists Paty and Staci (the staff members at both offices don't know i'm even trying to get pregnant and I hope they don't find out for a while)


Can't wait for tomorrow morning! (sarcasm) :)

What am I thinking?!

I don't know why I'm going to write these next posts. :) This is not like me and I have been very private about this subject for many years, but I have felt prompted to write my experience on my blog. I wanted to write everything in my journal, but at least typing is much faster and maybe I can print this off for my kids at a future date. So here goes...

My In Vitro adventure:

Ty and I have been trying to have kids for years. We love kids! Any one who has known me since I was little has known that I just love being around children. They are just so close to God and I just love the spirit I feel when I'm around them (I do know that they are naughty at times :) ). We haven't had success in the having kids area. My plan was to have kids while in school, but that didn't work out. When I used to pray about it, I didn't feel like we were going to have kids for a while. I just know that it will all happen on the Lords timetable. I have had many priesthood blessings and answers to prayers that are amazing and comforting and I just know that everything will be ok and we will have children. It is just so incredible to know that the Lord knows our thoughts and righteous desires and he feels our heartaches and pain and He can and does comfort us in times of trial.

Quick background:
When we lived in Pennsylvania I went to physicians, an OBGYN and a fertility doctor and no one could find out what was wrong with me. My blood work was all testing normal. they thought they found something and I had surgery and there was nothing there. They wanted me to take hormones, but we prayed and didn't feel right about it at the time partly because I have a clotting factor mutation. So I finished school trying to do the basal body temperature thing (where you take your temperature every day to try to see when you're ovulating).
When we were in AZ, we felt good about starting hormones and found we had to start over with everything we did in Pennsylvania. So after a year of going in circles and not going anywhere in AZ, I finally put my foot down to get the fertility doctor rolling. I had a surgery for something I didn't have in Pennsylvania and transferred to a new fertility doctor closer to our new house. I was told that there is just some connection in my brain not working well...who knows what? and Ty has some problems as well related to him having Multiple Sclerosis. So we finally were able to try artificial insemination (yeah! Something that finally moved us forward in our process) and that didn't work, so we are moving forward (yeah again!) to in vitro fertilization! This is where they take all the eggs out of me from one cycle and then place two fertilized eggs back inside me and see if one (or more) will grow!

I have been on birth control pills and vitamins for a month to give me some Estradiol and vitamin goodness. I had an ultrasound on Wednesday. They told me they think there is 6-7 follicles in my right ovary and 9-10 follicles on my left ovary! They told me that they want between 5-10 on each. Because I am younger (28) and have irregular cycles, they will typically see a higher number of follicles in my ovaries. This can be good for freezing purposes. As I was driving out of the clinic I saw some workers holding out a banner protesting about a labor dispute between them and the fertility doctor. So hopefully there will be enough workers to help us out!

Tomorrow I start the fun stuff (sarcasm)...the daily shots. I had all of my medication come last Saturday. It was pretty intimidating. Tyler will be giving me the injections. I am hoping he won't pass out. :) I am so grateful that he is willing to give me the shot because I don't think I could do it. I am so happy we have been moving forward and we have a chance to be parents :) I know whatever happens is God's will.

Year 2010 post

Ok, so I'm not a good blogger. But Ty reminds me that we need at least one post this year. So since my last post, I thought I'd catch everyone up on us. We moved a couple of months ago from our little apartment to our first house! We searched for the best deal forever and found an amazing price! We couldn't turn it down! My favorite part is the kitchen...not quite finished yet though. We are in North Glendale, AZ still and love our area. We are so close to the freeway, so we feel we are close to everything. We love our new ward. Half of the ward is students with mostly D.O. students and some dental students so we feel like we are in Pennsylvania all over again. I am teaching Relief Society, which is very fun, and Ty was called to lead a missionary committee for his Elders Quorum. There are two Elders Quorums here...huge!...even after around 100 people were split to another ward.






Ty is still teaching in Surprise at a charter school and coaching baseball on the side at a big high school. I am still working at the same two private offices where I started. We have had fun here in AZ and have met some great friends. I still haven't fixed my camera...I know...I put things off, so I've taken pictures with my phone all year...sometimes it's a little blurry...not the best.

Last Christmas was spent with my family in Utah. My brother Chris is going to marry Gloria in the temple this year so we are very excited and then there will be two of us girl dentists in the family.




We were able to go see my Aunt Linda and Mel at the mission president home in Riverside California and saw my grandma Pike (my dad's mom) one last time.



She just passed away last month and we went to her funeral in California. She was such a great grandma. She always looked beautiful and happy. She was always so proud and supportive of me which made me feel like I could do anything! It was nice to see my cousins, aunts, uncles, my dad Lorin and his girlfriend at the funeral. I love my family! We were able to stay at this really nice hotel and go to the Las Angeles Temple as well.












We went to do one of those time share things and won a free jeep tour in Sedona with an awesome guide. He taught us how to survive in the desert.


We hung out with my dad in San Diego, and then again a few weeks later with my mom and grandma in San Diego. I went with them to Sea World (for my first time!), to the zoo (and saw my fav. animal the giant PANDA!), and to the hotel Coronado.










One of my favorite memories was this summer with my mom's side of the family. WE went to Jackson, Wyoming. We saw some moose, moosen, or meese?haha, rode down an alpine slide, went white water rafting, hiking and horse back riding.
















baby Jared

My brother and his super sweet wife Brooke and niece clara


Tyler had a chance to go to Omaha this summer with his dad. They were able to watch USA and Japan play in Rosenblatt stadium. They had a lot of fun! While he was there, I was in utah for my friend Andrea's wedding. I was in her line as an old married matron. She had me sing and It was so much fun! I will put the video on if I can figure it out. Andrea looked gorgeous!







We bought a pass to a wild animal park here in AZ and have gone there a few times. It is amazing! You get to be so close to the animals and the keepers actually go in and play with the tigers, lions and bears. It's incredible! We took our niece Madi. She wasn't scared of the Lion with THAT headband on...








Ty had his 30TH b-day this year so we had to celebrate big time and go to a fancy restaraunt called POSH and had amazing food like the dishes on his favorite cooking shows. We forgot to take pictures of all of the courses, but I loved how they wrote "Happy Birthday" on his plate with chocolate syrup. Then we had a fun pool party with family and friends.










Ty and I decided to go camping up by Flagstaff at Mormon Lake. Yeah, there's not really a Lake there anymore, it's more like a swamp. I found a patch of water though. :) Then we took a tram up to the top of one of the mountains there in Flagstaff. We had a hard time finding the place...we ended up finding the coolest church ever! in the middle of no where! I think you could fit 8 people in there?! Also, I discovered there is Aspen trees in AZ! My favorite! Ty used the highest bathroom in Arizona! Then we went to a diners, drive-ins and dives restaurant called Brandys. It had the best eggs Benedict.










In October, we were able to go to my good friend Alisha's wedding reception in Utah. My camera was so blurry! She looked so beautiful. We also went to conference. It was my first time there live! It was amazing! Our tickets weren't printed well and so we almost didn't get in. They thought we were trying to sneak in! We were lucky and sat down right before the session started. We also went to a haunted house with my family. I miss haunted houses. They are the best in Utah!







Don't worry, it's not my body. It is a skeleton at the haunted house with my face.

My youngest brother Mike and his wife Natalie and baby Jared


My awesome mom and grandma come and visit me every 6 months. I am so blessed to have them!


We have had a ton of fun in AZ and our most interesting experience was being pelted by golf ball sized (with crazy projections) hailstones while coming home from work. I was ducking while driving because I thought they would come through the car. Luckily we didn't get too much damage to our cars like others did. I hope this doesn't happen again! It's supposed to be sunny!

We have liked Arizona and are so excited about our new house and ward! It is 83 degrees in November right now. so nice. Sorry this post is so long!...if anyone ever reads it :)